Well as most of you know today is grandmas' birthday, and even though it is a sad day (for me) because she is not here with us to celebrate I will try and do something different this New Years Eve, I just hope I don't change my mind. Ever since I can remember New Years was just like other holidays, we we always at grandmas' house. One year we even had a Mexican band in her living room! The look in her eyes was so beautiful, she was happy that her son V who was in the band would do this just for her. GOD I think alot of us would have done just about anything for her, I know I would and at times I did. I love (notice it is not past tense) her soooooooooo much that days like today make me sad because I wish that she were still with us. When the grandkids got older we didn't spend it at grandmas' because for one she was living with her youngest child and her family, so it was different, but I always called her before midnight and wished her Happy Birthday and a wonderful New Year. Since her passing I couldn't bring myself to go out and bring in the New Year, heck when she was alive I didn't like going out but it beat staying home doing nothing. But I felt that there was nothing to celebrate once she died, and so I would stay home with my kids. Every year since her death I try not to cry as we do the count down but it is hard not to. This year I have my foster kids' siblings with me ( I didn't want them left home alone and I knew this would in fact happen). I also called my neighbor and asked if they would like to come over with their boys and we can just "hang out". So far they are coming. I felt good making the call, it's like taking a baby step (finally) to perhaps ring in the New Year and not feel so sad. As I write this I am not sure I want to take that baby step now.
I hope I feel differently before they come over tonight.
Happy Birthday Grandma, I know that you are celebrating your birthday by dancing with grandpa, laughing and smiling. I love you forever............
Happy New Years to All!! May the Lord bring you the best in 2008
Last night I was excited because I had set up all of my files for todays' work. Which meant that I could go back to sleep once I took the two little ones to daycare. I would be able to sleep until 9!!
Well I was wrong, H was crying off and on all night, when I checked on her she was asleep, the last time she was crying I went in to check her and she was sitting up, I went and told her to go back to bed it was still dark outside. When I woke up at 5:30 I peeked in the room only to find her laying in bed wide awake (URGH!!) So as I picked her up to take her downstairs I noticed that she was burning up. I lay her on the couch and she must had been seeing things because she was moving her hands like there were bugs or something flying around her, so I took her temp (which she hates) and it is 102.1
Well so much for me going back to sleep, let alone getting any of my work done, whether she is sick or not she is still hard to handle. Not to mention today is visit day with her parents, I think I will still send N to see his parents other wise he will cry all night and I don't want to deal with that. Well I guess I will try next week to sneek in some zzzzzzzzzzzz's
LOL, Yes he sure did! I took pictures but I don't think they will do justice. I really didn't think we had bought enough for the kids to open, but my GOD once we saw all the gifts under and around the tree, it was unbelievable. Our house will not be back to normal for a few months as we try to find places for these new items. We had picked up all the wrapping paper and put the majority of the stuff in the basement but once my parents came over it looked like Santa puked again!! We need a bigger house in order for the kids to have their own basement, lol.
The only thing that matters is that all the kids had a wonderful Christmas, we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and then opened gifts like it was our birthday. I love to see the expressions on the kids' faces when they open their gifts, and say things like "OMG mommy look what Santa brought me" Or "This is what I asked Santa for". Those moments are so priceless.
I just hope next year Santa doesn't get sick at our house again (sigh) lol
Well it is official! My little girl not only has her drivers license, but she started her first job today. Although I am proud of her, I am sad, for my little girl isn't little anymore. Her 17th birthday is just around the corner, and once again I will cringed and shed a few tears. However I couldn't ask for a more perfect young lady to be my daughter, and as always I ask myself "what did I do in my life to deserve a wonderful kid". I always think back of when she was a little girl, how I miss those days, so many wonderful memories of her and I. Every birthday that comes along I take a deep breath and sigh and say to myself, " I wish my kids were babies again", even though they are in such a hurry to grow up. My two younger kids said yesterday that they were mad that they have to wait till they are 18 in order to get their drivers license, and they wanted to know why they couldn't get it now (they are 5!!LOL) memories like that one will stay with me forever, for my kids are my world, my life, my everything and I thank GOD for choosing me to be thier mother.
WOW, I feel so relaxed, I went out for a few things yesterday but the rest of the day was a good one, I do not have the little ones until Christmas Day. Last night we enjoyed several movies, it was so nice to have just my family at home chilling out. Today will be the same thing, relaxing playing games with the kids watching movies and making cookies for Santa, what a wonderful time I will have today with my kids.
And he is none other than GOD, for he is the one who sends us miracles and throughout my life I did have many to be thankful for. Last week I was bummed because my washing machine died. Only 2 years old and fixed once already it was time to get rid of the lemon. This put a big dent in my Christmas spending, not that I was going crazy like I always did, this year I put a tight reign on and told myself that we were going to NOT go crazy. Well today we received an e-mail from my boss who actually forwarded an e-mail from the big wigs stating that even though we had to let people go as a result of the real estate industry not doing great, we are all still getting a bonus on our next check. YES!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you GOD!!!!!! This was something I was not even thinking of, heck I was still praying to GOD that I was not the next person on the lay off list.
Of course all of us have different amounts, I guess they are going according to how long a person has been with the company. I don't care I am just thankful that we are getting one, something is better than nothing. My poor friend J, had just mentioned to me that my previous employers were not throwing a party (those were the days) nor are they giving out bonuses (which are alsp great). I guess I lucked out :)
But as I sit here typing for all to read, and listening to "O Holy Night" by Celine, I feel bad for those of my fellow workers that are not so lucky, that have no job, sure they can collect unemployeement but it is not the same. So I pray for them to receive a miracle this holiday season. I know that GOD will look over them.
For the last 10 years I have always celebrated my sons' birthday with a party. This year I decided to take him to Toys R Us instead for the simple reason that there are "certain" people that should be at family parties and since they are so "busy" with other things they never come. Well I have had it and decided that I will not have any more parties, THANK YOU FAMILY MEMBERS (by the way the ones who never show up do not read my blog postings, DARN!).
My son was fine with going to Toys R Us and buying toys that he says he always wanted.
For the last couple of years he has wanted to have his friends have a sleep over for his birthday. Each year there was an excuse for us to say no. This year we said yes because we were able to have the in-laws take the girls for the weekend and my foster kids were spending the weekend with their older siblings, so it was a perfect weekend for R to have his sleep over, or so I thought. I gave him a limit of how many boys he could have over, that number was 8. My daughter M always had birthday sleepovers and there were always 7-8 girls (those were the fun times, I miss them). So he past out 8 invites, now just to let you know I was NOT looking forward to having 8 wild boys spend the night, but it is only fair that R have his friends over just like M did. Well by Friday only 2 responded, I figured no big deal I am sure the rest will call on Saturday morning. WRONG!!!!!!!! By 7pm there was 1 person here, the other kid that responded called to say he couldn't come because he was sick. By 8pm another boy showed up that had forgotten to reply. Wow two kids came to his party, and both of these boys couldn't sleep over! Now I didn't pray to GOD that these kids wouldn't show, really I didn't. I felt so bad for my son that the boys he had invited didn't all come. This was his first sleepover and it bombed. Saturday night when the last boy left, R came up to me and hugged me and said "thanks for my party mom". I wanted to cry I felt so bad for him, he did look sad but he did say that he had fun with the two kids that showed up, not to mention eating tons of pizza and cake. Well R maybe next year your sleepover will be a success.