One would think that the first man in my life would be my father. However in this case it is different, sure as a baby my father was indeed the first man but as I was growing up I saw my grandfather as the father figure I needed. The first 5 years of my life I basically lived with my grandparents which was fine with me. I loved being there, I felt loved and I was very well cared for. My parents worked so my grandparents are the ones who took care of me.
My grandfather was born in Mexico and like others before him (and afterward) came to the US to find good jobs and to better his life. In Texas he met and married my grandmother and they started their family. From all the stories I have heard about my grandfather he was an awesome person, he loved life and made the best of what he had to provide for his wife and his 8 children.
After having several children my grandfather moved his family from Texas to Chicago and worked at the famous Wisconsin Steel Mill. Even though he didn't make a lot of money working there he was able to put all of his children in a Catholic school. My grandfather was a very hard worker and did his best to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of his family.
Some would say that my grandfather was a strick man, and I do agree with that, but he was that way because he loved his family and wanted a good life for them. He was always there when someone needed help, never turning his back on anyone. He loved helping people. I heard that once he met people that needed a place to stay, he was taking his family on a trip and decided to let them stay in their home while they were gone. When they came back from vacation they found that these people that my grandfather trusted had taken everything my grandparents had.
I was his first granddaughter, fourth grandchild and yes at that time I know I was "his" little girl, of course, that changed as the other grandchildren came but for four years I had the attention of my grandparents. Now my grandfather was not at all affectionate, he never said "I love you" but everyone knew that they were loved, I knew that I was loved and that was good enough for me. He was very tough and as a little girl I was afraid of him. He had a loud bark but he was a puppy at heart. You could tell just by looking at him that when my grandmother came into the room that he loved her so. He use to tell the same story about how when he was 17 he had held a baby girl in his arms and said that this baby was sooooo beautiful that when she grew up he would marry her, well that baby was my grandmother and although we would laugh at that story and say that we didn't believe him he would say it was the truth and stuck to that story for years.
I had to write a paper one year for school and I asked him about his life and from what I can remember is that he was the eldest of 3, he had two brothers that he had to raise because their parents had died when they were young, and how he had to provide for his little brothers and when they had no where to turn for food they would carve the bark off of trees and suck the sap out of them to survive. I got an A on that paper, and as I read that paper in front of my class there were tears from some of my peers.
I use to love hearing him talk on the phone because he would speak broken English, I thought it was cute, his accent was deep but I could understand what he was saying.
I also loved hearing him whistle the tunes from songs that played on the radio, and I remember that he would sit in his favorite chair by the window and read the paper, sometimes out loud.
Throughout his life I was told that he had had 5 or 6 heart attacks, he bounced back from each of them. I thought that nothing would bring him down, but in 1982 he suffered a stroke and this time he was not so lucky. I saw him before he slipped into a coma I remember that he had tears in his eyes, and yet he reached for my hand, I held his tight not wanting to let go, he couldn't speak although he tried. I told him not to worry, he would get better soon and that I would be there to help him get better, never knowing that would be the last time I would see him alive.
The memories from that year will haunt me forever, for the first man in my life was gone, forever. It took a long time for me to talk about him without having tears in my eyes (11 years to be exact).
GOD gave me the pleasure of knowing this great man for 17 years and there will never be other man like him. I just know that one day it will be my turn to go home and it will be then that I will see my wonderful grandfather and he will embrace me in his arms and I will feel like his little girl again.
Wow in the last two weeks we have heard sad news over and over again, two movie stars are gone, two Chicago politicans are gone, and now a news anchor is gone. Randy from channel 2 news past away this morning from a snowmobile accident, he was only 45. 45!!!!
It sent a chill down my spine. He was in his prime, living life to the fulliest is what his collegues stated. Left behind a wife and three children. I always thought he was cute, very cute.
When someone so young dies it brings thoughts, crazy thoughts for me anyways. My biggest fear is dying before my children are adults. I hate hearing or reading of a person dying living behind small children. I don't want anyone raising my kids, oh I know my husband is a wonderful father and would do probably a better job than I in raising our children but just the fact of never being able to hold them again just scares the hell out of me.
I do not remember a time in my life where so many well known people past away one right after the other. This New Year has already not been such a good year after all for so many people.
May GOD bless those whom he called home and the families that they left behind.
Last spring my cousin started her blog page and as I read a few of her stories my brain was thinking I should do the same, but what would I write? And of course when would I find the time? One of her postings was about the women in her life, I believe there were 5 that she admired. That got me thinking (yes I know scary thought) about the people in MY life, and I came to the conclusion that I would write about the men in my life. There are a total of 5. I will start with the first man that touched my life and go from there. These men I love more than anything, I adore them and will always cherish them in my heart. So stay tune for my stories, I am sure each story will be long, so curl up in your chair perhaps with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate to keep you warm and a blanket to snuggle with (maybe even some kleneex) I know I will have a few boxes on hand........
Ya know last year I swore that I was never having another birthday party for my kids, however I thought since the SuperBowl is on M's birthday (AGAIN) and seeing that I still have my foster kids, I knew that we couldn't take her out to dinner so I figured "what the hell" let's have a small party for her. Now I know that everyone has plans for that day, I understand that, there is no problem, as a matter of fact a lot of you stated that as long as it was early you would come for a few hours then head out to your superbowl parties (thank you). MY problem is not with any of you that I invited, in fact it has to do with some that I did not invite.
I received an e-mail from my BIL's wife the other day inviting us to their sons 14th b-day party. Once again it is on a Sunday and at 3 in the afternoon!! THEY LIVE IN DEKALB!!!!!!! By the time everyone shows up and eats and watches the kid open his gifts it is about 7/8 pm and it takes about an hour to drive home. WTF!!!!!!!!! And everytime they have parties for their kids (there are four of them) my husband goes whether we have plans already or not. Which in a way I understand because he is their uncle and one of the kids' GodFather but what PISSES me off is that when I "USE TO" invite them to my kids' parties they always had things going on, NOT TO MENTION, my BIL is my daughter L's GODFATHER!! It's funny how my MIL always made my hubby feel guilty if he mentioned that we had plans, her response was "You just have to go you are his GodFather". Well lady the same should apply to your other son as well. I don't expect gifts, all I want is for my kids to be around their family. Now my girls are 5 and out of the 5 parties I had for them my BIL showed up to 2 of them, was late to the girls first birthday party, in fact they showed up at the same time people were leaving because THE PARTY WAS OVER!! Let's not go into why they were late, that is another topic in itself. One party my BIL came with one of his kids the next time his wife came with 2 of their kids and let's see that leaves 2 more parties with NO SHOW!!! And the thing is they could have at least sent a card and mailed it to the girls, no need for any money in it JUST A FUCKIN' CARD WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE! We at least send cards, which I brought to my darling husbands' attention tonight. I can remember that he missed only one party for his Godchild and probably 1 party each for the other 3 kids. We have been together 10 years this year and he made sure that he was at all the parties, baptisms, & communions. It just really gets to me that we go to the parties that we are invited to, I love going to parties especially kids' parties but it would be nice if we would get the same from them in return. When it comes to my husbands' side of the family we are second best to my BIL's in-laws! And that just PISSESS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!! I thought I would feel better after I wrote this but it just got my blood boiling more, maybe a cold shower will turn the fire off. I am waiting to see what my MIL says to me in the next couple of days because the party is this Sunday and I did mention to her that 3 of my kids were having a sleepover at my cousin K's house, now I know I will be picking them up way before 3 but I am sure that her little brain will be ticking and I will get a call asking if the kids are going to the party. Boy I can't wait for that phone call, I hope she's wearing depends when she calls me :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!!!
Well from my last post I had mentioned bringing in the New Year differently. And I am so proud of myself because I did, and I think since my husband was sick from doing 5 tequilla shots I didn't have time to feel sad nor did I cry. We rang in the New Year with our neighbors, all my kids were up and having a good time and as of today my eldest is still trying to clean up all the confetti. It was funny because we noticed confetti on the ceiling and on the walls!! Thank you K & A for the kind words.
Yesterday I felt sick and it wasn't because of all the booze I drank but it was from a head cold, stuffing nose, my back hurt like crazy, today I feel better but the dripping and stuffy nose is still hanging around.
I hope that this New Year will be prosperous for us all!