Well as most of you know today is grandmas' birthday, and even though it is a sad day (for me) because she is not here with us to celebrate I will try and do something different this New Years Eve, I just hope I don't change my mind. Ever since I can remember New Years was just like other holidays, we we always at grandmas' house. One year we even had a Mexican band in her living room! The look in her eyes was so beautiful, she was happy that her son V who was in the band would do this just for her. GOD I think alot of us would have done just about anything for her, I know I would and at times I did. I love (notice it is not past tense) her soooooooooo much that days like today make me sad because I wish that she were still with us. When the grandkids got older we didn't spend it at grandmas' because for one she was living with her youngest child and her family, so it was different, but I always called her before midnight and wished her Happy Birthday and a wonderful New Year. Since her passing I couldn't bring myself to go out and bring in the New Year, heck when she was alive I didn't like going out but it beat staying home doing nothing. But I felt that there was nothing to celebrate once she died, and so I would stay home with my kids. Every year since her death I try not to cry as we do the count down but it is hard not to. This year I have my foster kids' siblings with me ( I didn't want them left home alone and I knew this would in fact happen). I also called my neighbor and asked if they would like to come over with their boys and we can just "hang out". So far they are coming. I felt good making the call, it's like taking a baby step (finally) to perhaps ring in the New Year and not feel so sad. As I write this I am not sure I want to take that baby step now.
I hope I feel differently before they come over tonight.
Happy Birthday Grandma, I know that you are celebrating your birthday by dancing with grandpa, laughing and smiling. I love you forever............
Happy New Years to All!! May the Lord bring you the best in 2008
Last night I was excited because I had set up all of my files for todays' work. Which meant that I could go back to sleep once I took the two little ones to daycare. I would be able to sleep until 9!!
Well I was wrong, H was crying off and on all night, when I checked on her she was asleep, the last time she was crying I went in to check her and she was sitting up, I went and told her to go back to bed it was still dark outside. When I woke up at 5:30 I peeked in the room only to find her laying in bed wide awake (URGH!!) So as I picked her up to take her downstairs I noticed that she was burning up. I lay her on the couch and she must had been seeing things because she was moving her hands like there were bugs or something flying around her, so I took her temp (which she hates) and it is 102.1
Well so much for me going back to sleep, let alone getting any of my work done, whether she is sick or not she is still hard to handle. Not to mention today is visit day with her parents, I think I will still send N to see his parents other wise he will cry all night and I don't want to deal with that. Well I guess I will try next week to sneek in some zzzzzzzzzzzz's
LOL, Yes he sure did! I took pictures but I don't think they will do justice. I really didn't think we had bought enough for the kids to open, but my GOD once we saw all the gifts under and around the tree, it was unbelievable. Our house will not be back to normal for a few months as we try to find places for these new items. We had picked up all the wrapping paper and put the majority of the stuff in the basement but once my parents came over it looked like Santa puked again!! We need a bigger house in order for the kids to have their own basement, lol.
The only thing that matters is that all the kids had a wonderful Christmas, we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and then opened gifts like it was our birthday. I love to see the expressions on the kids' faces when they open their gifts, and say things like "OMG mommy look what Santa brought me" Or "This is what I asked Santa for". Those moments are so priceless.
I just hope next year Santa doesn't get sick at our house again (sigh) lol
Well it is official! My little girl not only has her drivers license, but she started her first job today. Although I am proud of her, I am sad, for my little girl isn't little anymore. Her 17th birthday is just around the corner, and once again I will cringed and shed a few tears. However I couldn't ask for a more perfect young lady to be my daughter, and as always I ask myself "what did I do in my life to deserve a wonderful kid". I always think back of when she was a little girl, how I miss those days, so many wonderful memories of her and I. Every birthday that comes along I take a deep breath and sigh and say to myself, " I wish my kids were babies again", even though they are in such a hurry to grow up. My two younger kids said yesterday that they were mad that they have to wait till they are 18 in order to get their drivers license, and they wanted to know why they couldn't get it now (they are 5!!LOL) memories like that one will stay with me forever, for my kids are my world, my life, my everything and I thank GOD for choosing me to be thier mother.
WOW, I feel so relaxed, I went out for a few things yesterday but the rest of the day was a good one, I do not have the little ones until Christmas Day. Last night we enjoyed several movies, it was so nice to have just my family at home chilling out. Today will be the same thing, relaxing playing games with the kids watching movies and making cookies for Santa, what a wonderful time I will have today with my kids.