Rita's Rants n Raves

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have six kids, yes you read right, six. I wanted three boys and three girls and I wanted the boys to be born first, so that way they could take care of their little sisters if they were being picked on. I was 25 when I was pregnant with my first child. A child I was hoping was a boy (not to mention healthy). I admit I was a little sad when my daughter was born because I really wanted a boy but I thanked GOD for a beautiful healty girl.
4 1/2 years later I was pregnant with my second child, this time I wanted a girl that way my daughter wouldn't be so lonely and would have someone to play with. This time I had my boy. I was shocked because I had all the same symptoms that I had with my first pregnancy so I thought for sure it was a girl. What a handsome little boy he was. He was born with hair and fair skin but as the months went by he lost the majority of his hair and he looked like a little white boy, lol, thus giving him the nickname "guerro". I should have known that as soon as he started rolling around (at four months) that he would be a handful in the years to come. He was a stubborn little boy, he would crawl onto my coffee table and I would tell him no and move him away from the table only to see him back there seconds later. His laugh was so different from any other baby laugh I had ever heard, it was more of a squeal and it was the funniest thing to hear, it always made me laugh. He was such a happy baby unaware of the misery that lingered in our home. He was four months old when I seperated from his father, so he never knew what it was like to be raised by his biological father. But yet as my boy grew older he had so many of his father's bad traits, it was weird. This boy was such a hyper boy when he was 2, 3, 4 heck he still is, lol. Always keeping me on my toes, me never knowing what this kid was going to do next, always the unexpected. He adjusted as well as he could to a life without his biological father. The man comes and goes in his life and I know it still bothers my son but he knows that there is nothing he can do about it. My son will turn 12 this year, and I still cannot believe how much he has grown. Everyone of his teachers from kindergarten to his 5th grade teacher have told me that my son has potential, he can be anything he wants to be when he grows up he just needs to learn to take his time and really concentrate on his studies, I have told him what his teachers have said and he smiles, I know it makes him feel good that people notice how good he is in school and in outside activities. Two years ago my husband had finally convinced him to play sports so he plays flag football in the fall and soccer in the spring. All year round he is in Karate, this will be his second year and he already is a 1st degree orange belt. Right now he has one goal in life and that is to continue with Karate until he becomes a black belt, I hope he continues because he is really good at it. Even in the sports he plays his coaches have all loved having him on their team. My son has come a long way with his lashing out when angry and has improved but he does still have a little ways to go yet. I know he has anger in him as far as his father is concerned but I just hope that the love my husband and I give him will over power that anger and he will be able to move on with his life as he gets older. He has been on the honor roll this whole year as well.
I know I had wanted three sons at one time, but my Raymond is three sons all in one, lol. I love this boy so much and I am trying so hard to raise him not to be like his father, I want him to be a man, to stand up for himself when necessary and yet know how to treat others and not treat them as trophies, to respect people so that they in turn will respect him, and to be a man of his word, because that is important in life.
My son knows that if he does wrong he will get repremanded big time, and he has in the past gotten in big trouble for things he has done, I just hope that he learns from his mistakes. He has never been nor will he ever be a mama's boy, and he is learning how to load and unload the dishwasher (which he hates,lol) and this summer he will be cutting the grass and possibly other chores as well. I want him to be independent and not having to rely on others. I hope all my dreams for him come true, that he goes off to college and becomes someone that helps others. I am so proud of my son and I love him very much, I am also glad that I only have one son that way he doesn't have to feel that he needs to compete in life with a brother (sibling rivary). He is such a special young man and I am proud to say that he is my son. One of the special men in my life.